Answers to Previous Questions
"Lost my Faith" sought some help in dealing with
growing mistrust in her own marriage related to the behavior of her newly
separated sister.
Your answers were:
Your sister using your husband to replace hers. Find someone else for her to
do date.
Fix her up and do it fast.
There is something wrong with that husband of yours if he can't see that this
whole thing is making you upset. If your husband can't hang up the phone to
spend some time with his own wife there is something wrong with that man.
He's the one who needs help, not you honey.
What I would do is this. Don't wait for your sister to call you or your
husband. Beat her to the punch. You call her. Ask her how she is. Ask her
if she's anxious, or lonely. Ask her what she thinking about, what she is
doing.
She'll soon get tired of your prying and will be avoiding your calls. If she
is still calling your husband at work after that, then there is something
else going on.
I bet that one or both of your parents was an alcoholic. I am a member of
ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) and I've heard this kind of
story in the meetings all the time.
Your sister is cultivating a co-dependency with your husband and he is
feeding into it. He must really need to be needed. I suspect that you
probably have a co-dependent relationship with him as well. That's probably
why the prospect of losing his attention is so threatening to you.
I suggest that all three of you check out an ACOA group near where you live.
There are a lot of people out there who have gone through the same thing we
have growing up in the home of an alcoholic. They will understand and help
you all avoid the trap of co-dependency.
Your husband sounds like sadist. I'm sure he knows that this is bugging you.
He probably told you that your sister is calling him at work to make you
jealous.
If I were you I'd go out and have an affair and teach him a lesson.
Maybe your sister should be on Prozac. I knew this woman who was anxious all
the time and couldn't stand being alone. She went on Prozac and she was
fine.
Maybe your sister's husband left her because she was so clingy.
Tell her to go on Prozac and she'll not only feel better, she might also get her husband back.
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