Answers to Previous Questions
"Desperate" sought some help in dealing with his
fear that he might be some sort of a monster because of intrusive, hostile
thoughts and urges.
Your answers were:
Seems like you can't trust yourself. Have there been other ways and
other times when you did things you thought you'd never do?
These dreadful thoughts are flags that you need to examine something
inside yourself, probably having to do with anger and frustrations which
you have not expressed to yourself or anyone else. Emerson says,
"Approach what you fear." Find someone with whom you can talk about
these distressing thoughts. This person needs to be someone trustworthy,
and non-judgemental, since you have already judged yourself severely for
having these thoughts.
Explore with this other person how you feel when you have the distressing
thoughts, what exactly did you perceive outside yourself that seemed to
trigger the thought and the feelings associated with the thought. Recall
other situations that have triggered the same feelings. Work backwards
until you find the first time you felt that way and were prevented from
taking positive and healthy action in that situation. The main thing
here is to talk about all this with someone else, rather than continuing
to isolate yourself. Talking out loud with someone who knows how to give
you emotional support will decrease the pressure of whatever it is that
you have bottled up inside you that is popping out as hostile and
destructive thoughts which you have no interest in acting on.
It sounds like you've never acted on any of these "crazy thoughts."
That's the important thing.
What you describe just seems like a bad case of the kind of "what if"
thoughts that occur to everybody from time to time. When at a bridge
railing, I've often asked myself "what would happen if......"
Clearly you don't want to do these horrible things. Your have the right
values, you just don't seem to have a strong enough conviction in your
self control.
I suggest that each time you have such an impulse, you remind yourself
that once again you demonstrated the ability to resist doing it. The
evidence will soon start to pile up in your favour.
Why you so angry my man? It aint the baby in the checkout line. It aint
the gas jock.
You're dangerous alright. Who you protecting from all that danger?
Dear Desperate, I think that we have all felt this way some time in our
lives. This may sound strange but maybe its because you work around
people constantly. I work in retail and find myself getting angry with
people for no reason, its not like I know the person or that its even
fair for me to think this way but I do and I'm sure you and I are not
alone.
Corky
I think it's important to do some reality checking here. First of all,
if you seriously feel that you may actually act on an impulsive thought,
then you may wish to talk with a professional therapist.
If the thoughts are assessed to be "fantasy" with no real possibility of
being acted upon, then relax. It is important to understand, however,
that there are probably some real unaddressed issues of anger that need
to be explored and appropriately resolved. Withdrawing from society will
probably only allow you to spend more time dwelling on your thoughts and
increase the anxiety you already feel. It is normal to have thoughts of
aggression. After all, this is an aggressive society. It is unnatural
however, to ACT on these thoughts. Discuss your issue. Don't isolate.
Of course you should not turn yourself in; you haven't done anything
illegal. It seems to me that you are experiencing enourmous levels of
stress and are looking for an outlet. Wanting to smash the baby to the
floor and torch the gas attendant may serve as a means to displace these
enormous amounts of stress. I suggest that you find a suitable coping
mechanism so that you can get your stress levels under control.
I realize that a sample of two is far too small to generalize. In both of
the examples you gave your hostility was directed towards very weak, or
vulnerable and defenceless individuals. If this is true of other such
instances, consider this. Perhaps you hatred is stirred up by seeing
people in such circumstances. Perhaps you hate the thought that people
can be so weak and vulnerable. Maybe it's because you yourself were once
the target of seemingly arbitrary violence when you were in such a
position (as is a child at the hands of abusive parents). Not wanting to
identify with the victim you assume the only other role you know
instinctively, that of the bully. Perhaps when you feel this way you need
only to reality test you situation by asking yourself whether
you are indeed helpless and vurnerable now. If you're not there is no
need to defend yourself by identifying with the agressor.
Dear Desperate: All thoughts are things, sentences, made of words, which
are made of letters...each one having a sound vibration. So it follows
that each whole thought is a collective sound vibration. This "vibration"
is created by the mind, which is "meta physical". You can't touch it or
capture it, or see it. Each vibration is presented to the physical brain
(which is just as dumb as the foot as it can only "do" what the mind
dictates) by way of the pineal gland. This is located where the soft
spot in a baby's head can be found. The brain then "transmits" this
vibration through the autonomic nervous system and the electrical charges
are carried on the DNA by way of the RNA to the rest of the body into
every cell. Because it is a "vibration" it emanates from the
millions of nerve endings in your body in a field around you but close
to your body, called the aura. The vibrations are made of electrons,
neutrons, and protons. We "receive" in reverse.....And so it goes for
everybody. (This is why you can usually tell when someone is lying. Only
your ears are hearing what only their mouth is saying, but the rest of
them knows they are lying. The rest of their cells are emanating liar,
liar, and the rest of your nerve endings are picking up those subtle
vibrations and transmitting them back to your brain which is perceiving
it as a lie. This is why you suddenly get a wierd feeling that the person
is not being truthful.
Now then. The electrons are magnetic, eloctromagnetic. By the laws of
physics, they draw to themselves like kind...Also known as - "like
energies attract". If you were having a downtime period in your life, you
might have "picked up" someone else's negative vibration when they came
around you much the same way you do when you catch a cold from someone
who was sick being too close to you. Their auric field and your auric
field blended .....you got too close...Once you "caught" this bug, the
energy YOU began to emanate, just by dwelling on it in your thoughts,
draws more of the same to you...because like energies attract... The
remedy! As soon as you think a negative thought.... 1-mentally picture
yourself surrounded in pink light 2-deliberatly think a beautiful
thought....this changes the energy immediately around you 3-Compliment
someone or tell someone they look pretty or they are dressed in nice
things 4-make a conscientious decision to think of something great or
beautiful so that the electrons you emanate then will "attract" to you
more positive things from that point forth. 5-say in your head as least
three times (preferably six)...G-d loves me. I am blessed No you are not
crazy...yes it was wise to mention these things on the internet so that
many people can benefit from your dilemma. This is how one "bad apple can
spoil the whole bunch"...or how just one negative thought such as "I
can't..." can paralyze a person's growth. Let this be a further
lesson that if you are not getting what you want out of life, then you
could examine your thoughts and discover just what you are thinking or
believing that draws this result to you...is it an ingrained subliminal
program in the archives of you mind? or just a hidden belief in your
value, priority or belief system. If you want to change your reality, you
must change your thought process. To try and forge ahead with something
you don't believe in or will happen, or should happen, is like trying to
accelerate with your foot on the brake, because both energies are
emanating from you simultaneously and drawing to themselves like kind
simultaneously. All you have to do is....Change your mind to change your
life!
It sounds as though you have a lot of anxiety about your thoughts.
Remember that thoughts are not actions. However, these are affecting your
total life adversely and could eventually lead to behaviors which you
might regret. Talking to a qualified psychotherapist, who would be able
to help you develop coping strategies based on your life style and needs,
would be beneficial. Try it--it should make a major positive difference
in your life and in your feelings of self-control.
Remember, the "You Be the Therapist" page is intended as entertainment
only. The above "Answers" represent the individual opinions of various
visitors to our site and are not to be construed as advice. They do not
represent the views of Dr. Rutner or any other StressFree affiliated
therapist. For professional opinions please
consult with a qualified therapist.
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