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Here is a particularly interesting question I recently received.

A client writes, "I live in a small town in the Midwest. Recently I developed an annoying twitch in my left eye. My family doctor said that there was nothing wrong with me physically. He suggested that I speak to a councilor if it really worries me. I ask a few of my friends to recommend someone and I ended up with 3 different names. For some reason I couldn't decide which one I should see so I ended up making appointment with all three of them. I decided that I would see each one and continue with the councilor I like the most.

The first fellow I saw seemed very reasonable and easy to talk to. I thought he was very sensible and made some good suggestions. I was pretty sure that he would be the one I would continue to see.

The second person I saw was an older woman with a lot of experience. She seemed to be very sensitive and caring. She too made a lot of sense.

The third fellow was a recently retired chaplain in the military. He had a completely different perspective. He pointed to a recent spiritual crisis that the other two therapists had missed completely. I was again impressed.

Individually I felt that each one of these people would have been able to help me. I felt I learned a lot in each of the sessions. But now that I'm trying to decide which one to continue with, I have become worried and pessimistic. I feel I can't trust my judgement. Each one of these people told me something very different. They couldn't all be right. Yet they were all so believable. Am I too impressionable? Were these people just quacks who snowed me? How can I trust myself to choose?

Dr. Rutner what do you think is the best way to choose a therapist to see? ....Confused"

Dr. Rutner's opinion:

You don't have to make a decision about which therapist to see. I think I know why your eye is twitching.

During the day you probably keep your eyes open and find that it works quite well, allowing you to see the world around you. The information you gather by looking around is quite useful in helping you decide how to navigate your way through your daily activities.

At night you probably close your eyes. This effectively blocks out the light and distracting images allowing you to rest and fall asleep comfortably, thus providing you with the rest you need.

Recently it occurred to you that you seem to value both having your eyes open and having them closed. It caused you to question your decision-making ability. You panicked and your brain began to send random signals to your eyelids to open, close, close, open, close, open, open ...etc..

Instead of trying to decide whether it would be better to open or close your eyes tomorrow, ask yourself whether your eyes are comfortable the way they are this moment. If they are, don't change anything ...if they are not, try something different. Judge each moment each problem, each therapist and most importantly each dish on a Chinese Restaurant menu on it's own merits.

Why not try your hand at being the Psychologist. You be the Therapist

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