A client complained that she had lost her faith.
"Lost my Faith" sought some help in dealing with growing mistrust in her own marriage related to the behavior of her newly separated sister.
Her question was: "Until six months ago I had
a very comfortable and secure marriage. At that time my younger sister's
husband deserted her. She was devastated. She needed to talk. Both my
husband and I tried to listen as often as we could. She was very
appreciative. She said that our being there made a big difference.
But her requests for our company became more and more frequent. She
complained that she felt too nervous being alone. My husband would drop
in on her every day on his way home from work. The trouble was that the
visits got longer and longer. He complained that she was clingy and
wouldn't let him leave. He asked that I phone him there so that he could
use my call as an excuse to tear himself away. That worked for a while,
but soon she started calling the house later in the evening, complaining
that she was anxious. Talking to one of us would calm her down. I
found myself having less and less patience for her repeating the same
thing again and again. I would pass the phone to my husband and he'd
listen for hours, day after day.
Soon I found that I was feeling anxious when the phone would ring
expecting that it was her. I started to dread these calls that would
take my husbands attention away from me. And at the same time I felt
guilty for being so possessive of him. One day he complained that she
was also calling him at work. Ever since then I've had no peace of mind.
I spend all day long imagining him talking to her. I have to fight
myself from thinking that he is enjoying it, and encouraging her. I
can't stop myself from asking whether she called or not, and what they
spoke about. I'm worried that I will become a terrible mistrusting wife
and drive him off.
I wish she would just go away. Should I ask him to stop talking to her?
What's wrong with me? ....lost my faith.
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